On Marriage

August 15, 2023
A comprehensively researched, wry examination of the many dimensions of marriage and how it has evolved. Baum begins with the odd assertion that there has not been much intellectual analysis of marriage, and she proceeds to round up the work of philosophers, novelists, filmmakers, and even comedians on the subject. It makes for fascinating reading, and the author punctuates the story with vignettes and commentary about her own marriage, which gives the research a personal touch. She brings an engaging element of humor to the proceedings; in fact, her sense of fun was revealed in her 2017 book, The Jewish Joke. As a professor of literature, she seems to have read everything connected to marriage, from Shakespeare's tragedies to Nora Ephron's novels. She organizes the book in sections dealing with marriage as an ongoing conversation, marriage as entertainment, the religious underpinnings, and the tricky subject of divorce. The institution of marriage goes back centuries, and although it has sometimes been attacked as a way to lock women into a cage of domesticity, it continues to thrive. Matrimony is a life goal for most people and is widely seen as the best structure for a family. A problem is that it is a long-term commitment, and when the early glow of romance fades, the participants realize there is a long road ahead. Some people can travel it successfully, while others cannot. One thing is certain: It never turns out to be like a rom-com; it is always messier and harder and involves more housework. Still, Baum accepts that it is for her (she is married to director and screenwriter Josh Appignanesi), and for many others. Marriage, she concludes, "continues to carry and shape our human story," and "we are likely to see it remaining with us long into the future, until death do us part." A rollicking account about marriage in books, movies, and culture, told with authority and genuine warmth.

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